Juice Cleanse: Three Day Report


Cleanse day one: Let’s start with the ‘why.’ Why am I opting to make my life a lot more challenging by going on a three-day juice/smoothie cleanse? Let’s just review the past 24 hours: I ate a doughnut, orange puff, egg sandwich, double ice cream cone, lychee daiquiri and three whiskey ginger ales. And that was just a plain old Saturday.  Really, do I need to say more? Cue the cleanse naysayers: “Catherine, don’t be so extreme – just eat well and treat yourself occasionally.” That works most of the time, but after your body gets accustomed to those “occasions” happening, oh, every day around 10am, 3pm, and 8pm, then something has to change.

Plus, I want to. I need to be completely clear and honest that these three days of liquids only are solely my choice.

I remember when a bunch of girls at my work rode the detox train. They all boasted of lost pounds and clearer outlooks. My eating ways were similar then as they are now, consisting of a lot of lattes and cookie breaks. Wanting to break out of my impassioned addiction to all things sugar and butter, I jumped on. And, of course, got my girlfriend a ticket too. We drank the lemon, honey, cayenne tonic and bought boatloads of produce for the planned dinners.

Then I tried to go to work. I was a mess. I couldn’t finish my sentences – I felt as though I was slowly rising off the ground and through the sky into total lightheaded detox utopia, which is a place where things are nice and airy, and nothing has a deadline. Yah, that’s not a job. I dumped my date detoxing, ingested simple carbs, and got back to work.

What makes things different now? Well, I’ve got some time to hang out in the clouds so I’m going to give it my best shot. Plus, I absolutely hate to start something and not finish it, so in a way, I’m finally getting around to actually finish what I started six years ago.

So how’s it going? At this very moment my downstairs neighbor is baking muffins… yeah, that’s super. And my girlfriend’s sister just called inviting us out to PF Changs for  free appetizer specials.  I love PF Changs.

But enough of the carb dreaming, I need to celebrate the positive. I just drank a salad in a glass. Fistfuls of spinach, kale, beets, parsley, carrots, a little lemon and garlic went straight in the juicer and moments after I finished polishing it off, poof, my hangover was officially a thing of the past. It was almost scary how immediate the energy surged into my blood and lifted my eyelids open a few more millimeters.

Dinner’s on the way. Oh, I can’t wait.

Cleanse day two: One of the first things I said this morning was, “One day down, two to go.” My girlfriend chimed in, “What, you’re not enjoying this? You went crazy with food and drink the day before – and you probably will when this is over – why not just have balance?” Please view response to that above.

It’s not that I’m not enjoying it. So far, I feel pretty awesome. I have more energy than I thought I would; I’m not having communication difficulties like I did before; and my digestion system is thrilled.

I was just reading a report about how people enjoy the days prior to a vacation almost just as much as a vacation itself. Exactly. It’s the planning, the thinking ahead that’s half the fun. Such is the case with a sandwich and me.

Cleanse day three: I’m doing just fine today. Am I lusting after what I’m not allowing myself? No, not really. Am I high on purity? No, not really either. My mood is just pretty ordinary. Maybe it’s half-due to the rain clouds that have moved in. The gray sky can almost always kill a good life buzz.

But I was thinking more about this as I was sipping my lunch blend of beet greens, celery, cucumber, tomato, parsley, garlic and carrot… I’m proud of myself that I’ve done this – sure, I feel a lot healthier, but I love food so much and the fact that I’m intentionally removing it from my life is just kind of sad. It’s kind of sad, and also a little pathetic.

Everyone loves food, sure, but sometimes I feel as though it’s my entire cloth of life. I go through my week, thinking of where I’m going to eat this, when I’m going to make that, and how I hope to write about (insert hot foodie place here). When all of it is removed from my days – it’s a little boring and sad that I’ve built this kind of relationship. Well, so be it, I guess.

When I start on this introspective analysis, I often think of the Benjamin Franklin quote, “Eat to live – don’t live to eat,” and I think to myself, “Wow. I would not have gotten along with that guy.”

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